By the time you read this, I will have already canceled my Triple Play account. Don’t bother trying to find me…you already know where I live. I couldn’t put up with your frequent internet outages anymore. I called you several times and somebody different picked up each time, making promises I knew you couldn’t live up to. You see, my cable internet connection is my lifeline to work, friends and family. As a search engine marketing consultant, my job is next to impossible to do without access to the innerwebs. I think we should see other people.
What’s that? The rolling service outages aren’t your fault? Just another lame excuse to cover for the fact that you have been jacked into by all of my neighbors too. Don’t think I didn’t notice the 3-4 times a day that we failed to connect, always at the most inopportune times.
We did have some good times, didn’t we? Your cable TV and land line phone services were fine. Oh yeah, except when the power goes out and you disappear again. And you were a pretty cheap date. The $99 monthly promotional charge was almost too good to pass up…until I realized that you were about to raise it to about $130 in another few months. For what? Because we would have been together for a year at that point? Are you trying to drive a wedge between us because you are afraid of commitment, or do you think that you have me wrapped so tightly around your little finger that I couldn’t dare leave you? Is that how you treat a faithful partner?
I need somebody more reliable. Somebody that I can count on to be around when I have deadlines to meet and internet-enabled conference calls to sit in on. Somebody that won’t get more expensive over time. So, Comcast, I’m moving on to AT&T’s new U-verse system starting next Wednesday between 12 and 2. They can offer me what you can’t – a faster internet connection that won’t flake out at the first sign of stress. Plus, they offer just as many channels so I know I won’t get bored and I don’t even have to pay extra for a DVR or multiple receivers. To top it off, I hear they are very low maintenance so I anticipate a long, healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.
Surprisingly, you took the breakup pretty well. I expected much more of a fight and promises to be more faithful and cheaper. It was too late for us at that point. You got your revenge by pulling one last trick…disabling my internet service the moment I hung up the phone. I thought it would take you at least a few days to pack your things and go. Now I’m left with nothing until AT&T comes around next week. I wish I had planned that a little better.
P.S. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime. Can we stay friends? I think you have some growing up to do, but some day you will make somebody very happy and I will be just a distant memory. Who knows? We might have a future together at some point, but for now I just need my space.